The Quickest Route to Tantric Sex

Tantra is about making love into an art. If you thought of yourself as an artist of love, what would you create? If you were painting a picture of the most juicy, delicious, perfect afternoon with your beloved, composing a song, or sculpting a masterpiece, how would you honor them?

Tantric lovers take their time. They are not in a hurry. Tantra has everything to do with savoring the moment, and bringing awareness to every detail. Noticing what youve never noticed before. Did you ever consider that the inside of the elbow could be an erogenous zone? That you can turn on your partner by tickling the small of their back?

The quickest route to tantric sex is to slow down, wa-a-a-ay down. Do everything you normally do, but twice or even three times slower than usual. Focus at first on anything and everything but the genitals. Slow. Slowly. Uhmmmm, painfully, agonizingly slow. As leisurely as youve ever touched anyone. There. Stroke down the inside of her thigh in the most languorous motion possible. Brush his nipples with your palm with a touch as light as a peacock feather. Your hand slides down his side so slowly that its movement would be imperceptible to an observer, as if you werent even moving. When you take as much time as youve ever wanted to lick, swirl, and savor, the taste of your beloveds lips is divine. Pleasure him or her with the slow Chinese water torture of your touch.

Think of your gratitude for this moment, for your lover, for being able to express your celebration through your hands. Each moment is precious and sacred if you only pay attention. Be meditative, intimate, prolong the act of love.

Sting once told reporters that he and his wife, Trudie, practiced tantric sex for up to four hours at a time. He later explained that this timeframe included their flirtation, having dinner, getting undressed, and sexual play as all a part of tantric lovemaking. In tantra, these activities are not seen as foreplay, but rather as opportunities for awareness, sensual pleasure, and not less than intercourse itself.

Even if you think you are bored with this partner, with their body, approach it as if youve never been with it before. Watch with your awareness how much you can learn about pleasing a body you thought you knew. Enjoy your lover responding in ways youve never experienced before. How could anyone ever not be in the mood if every time were exquisitely different, shimmering with awareness? In tantric lovemaking, the quickest route is the slowest.

Catherine Auman, 2008

Author’s Bio:

Catherine Auman, MFT is a spiritual psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, Calfornia. She has advanced training in both traditional and alternative methodologies based on ancient traditions and wisdom teachings. Visit her online at

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