Finding the right BDSM partner

Finding fellow kinky people in the wild can be hard enough as it is, let alone finding a partner within the BDSM community that can meet your needs. Here are some tips to make searching for that person easier.

Knowing What You Want:

Understanding your desires sounds obvious, but it is essential. Dont go into this thinking that when you find the right person, itll click, that mentality can lead you in the wrong direction and make the process take far longer than it should.

Take some time to think about what you want. Make yourself a yes, no, maybe listso you can easily share what it is youre into and not OK with, and to give yourself an opportunity to think in depth about your fantasies. Also think about what you want out of a partner, whether that be someone you are also dating, a full time BDSM relationship, or a one-off fling.

Sign Up to BDSM Specific Dating Sites

Tinder is great for finding locals, sure, but you will be swiping through hundreds of people that arent interested in your kinks. To narrow the search, sign up for BDSM dating sites and apps. For the best BDSM dating sites reviews, you can click here.

When you sign up to any of these websites, and feel free to sign up to multiple at once, remember to be honest on your profile with what youre looking for. Reference back to the previous tip and note your preferences and desires. This means that if anyone finds you and have matching interests, they can contact you, making your job in searching for a partner so much easier.

Attend Events

A munch is a casual social gathering for people in the BDSM community. These are primarily a space for kinky people to meet others. Attending one is an excellent idea for meeting locals in the community, and perhaps finding someone that fits what you are looking for. It is also an excellent place to ask questions and meet people running other kinds of events in the area.

Play parties are another excellent place to meet local kinky people, but this time in an active place. These events are for BDSM play in a safe and social environment, perfect for talking to others and getting involved. Find someone participating in play that you enjoy, and start talking to them, if theyre not interested, they may know someone that could be. Each event has their own rules, so be careful to check those out before attending. You can find these events on websites such as fetlife.com

Find a Fetish Club

Fetish clubs or other BDSM related entertainment clubs can often be found in big cities. Clubs may be different and allow for different levels of play, but it is excellent for meeting likeminded kinky people. Buy someone a drink, and get to know them as with any bar. Maybe participate in some activities, and have a good time.

Keep Searching

Sometimes good things take time. If you dont find anyone immediately, dont give up. Try reviewing your interests as they change, look for new places, explore a little. Soon, you will find someone.

Author’s Bio:

Shawn Yale, freelance writer and LGBTQIA Advocate.
I try to be a voice for the voiceless in the community. I have been writing for over a decade on topics related to the successes, suppression, and insecurities faced by our community. I believe through story telling, sharing successes, and finding commonality through the many aspects of the human experience we will change the world or at least make it better.

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